Me too!
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
