you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
