i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
