I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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