she looked like the before picture.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
