just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
