I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
