apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
