no, he came in my armpit
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
