we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
