We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
