he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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