Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I love having hate sex.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
