I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Actions speak louder than pants.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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