I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
