It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
