I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
