I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
