She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
