Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
