So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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