It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
