I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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