Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
