I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Randomize
