is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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