No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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