He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
