I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
