if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
