I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
