Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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