Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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