I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
