Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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