Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
