Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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