i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
