That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
