i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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