He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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