That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It was confusing and full of hummus
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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