rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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