so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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