Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
