Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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