I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
