ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
