Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
