I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
