Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
